not-so-ordinary sunday

Nag sing-and-play ako kanina sa 9AM mass...Bodie came in late but he never bothered to sing 'coz he's afraid of the priest...oks lang, sanay na ako...Badette was early for the 10AM mass...aba! Naka-hanging shirt...dyaskeng bata, ire, magso-songlead na litaw ang pusod!...well, she did change her top into a more decent shirt (ngek, shirt pa rin!)

Mass Confirmation at 2PM...tagal ng mass pero sulit sa food...sarap ng cassava cake...yummy rin yung ultra thin crust pizza ng L' Inncontro (ooops, ako lang pala kumain nun...pumasok kasi ako sa loob kaya pinatikim ako ni Tita Adela ng pizza)...tapos, hiniritan nila ng ice cream si Derps, syempre ako ang namili ng flavor...rocky road...sarap!

It was nice to find myself singing with the choir during the 6pm mass...na-miss ko tuloy yung pagiging simpleng member ng choir...ngayon, naiintindihan ko na kung ano ang feeling pag katabi mo si mike at kung bakit minsan bingi si ryan...hehehe...

later during the practice, may nagka-pikunan...dejavu...ang theme song nila: Let's Get Physical.

Stairway To Friendship

Tagaytay bonding...we were 15mins late from the appointed departure time...late kasi si Ryan...kaya bad trip si Mike...hmmmmm...anyway, nakarating din kami...disappointed ako kasi hindi malamig sa Tagaytay...apparently, there are some reasons kung bakit nag-enjoy ako:

1. maganda yung napili naming place...malayo nga lang (sorry sa mga napagod ng kakalakad) pero malilim
2. everybody was affirmed in one way or the other
3. masarap ang adobo at tuna spread na ginawa ni Marvin.
4. masaya yung stairway to friendship na board game na ginawa ni jing...nag-go back to start sina dada at mike...bwahahaha!
5. maraming revelations & we got to know mike better (kasi sya yung na-"hot seat"!)
6. I was able to fulfill one of my goals for this year: to go to a butterfly farm!

Maraming tanong na gusto kong sagutin dun sa board game ni Jing, unfortunately, di napunta sa akin yung questions...kaya, dito ko na lang sasagutin...

What emotional problem bothers you very often?
...all the "what-ifs" and "could’ve-beens" of my life...hay!

What are the things you would not tolerate in a friendship?
...yung gagamitin ka...deadma na sya kung malagay ka sa alanganin basta favorable ang ending sa kanya...di bale, may karma naman eh…

What is scary in relating intimately with someone?
...di naman sinabi kung romantic relationship di ba?...siguro, kung sa babae, yung fear of losing a dear friend...it has happened many times at maraming beses na akong umiyak...kung sa lalaki naman, yung pag-isipan ka ng ibang tao na may other motive ka dun sa guy aside from friendship...yung mga taong nag-iisip ng ganun ay maaring isa sa mga ito: a) they don’t experience this kind of friendship, b) malisyoso sila, or, c) sila ay mga insecure na tao, as in insecurity personified…c’mon, pwede namang maging mag-best buddy ang babae at lalaki nang walang romantic angle...and believe me, kadalasan, ito pa yung talagang for keeps...

Describe your perfect partner in life.
...God-fearing, family oriented or someone who has deep concern for his parents, emotionally stable, intellectually stimulating, responsible, and has a good sense of humor

We arrived home shortly before 9pm...just in time for Stairway To Heaven...

I know what you did last night

Last night's choir practice was back to normal...back to normal in the sense na ako ang nagturo at madaling na-pick-up ng mga tinuturuan ko...call it revenge, if you wish...eto kasing mga nakaraang practice namin, medyo observer muna ang naging drama ko kasi nandun si teacher sampy...I was really hoping to learn a couple of choral techniques from her kaya lang medyo nadismaya ang beauty ko...my choir friends really had a hard time learning the pieces...I know the capability of my group kaya hindi ako papayag kung sasabihan silang "slow" dahil siguradong away ito! Neither will I allow other people to belittle my friends, no way!!! Kaya I decided to review them and tried correcting the minor flaws dun sa repertoire nila...now that they’ve learned the "proper" way of singing the songs, I rest my case...if only she'll do justice with the way she will conduct the choir...whew!

Later on, Carol and I went to Gasoline Alley at Robinson's Galleria to watch Milk 'n Money and Urban Dub...Alaine was there with her buddies...She’s a friend of Pinay and Pres (Milk 'n Money’s vocalist and bassist respectively)...Once again, the critic in me emerged...well, you can't blame me, I really couldn't understand what they were saying, este, singing pala...ayan tuloy, nalipat ang attention ko sa iba...there was this erratic girl na feeling too-close-for comfort...then there was this boy who couldn't get his body to be in sync with the beat (wag na kasing ipagpilitan eh!)...yuck, ang sama ni ate Jhie!

Well, it was fun naman...simply because I like Carol's company... :)

a letter to the one that God has prepared for me

I am wondering at this very minute if you are thinking of me, if like me, you are wondering what is taking us so long to find each other. Many times I thought I finally found you only to be disillusioned by the fact that my
wait has not yet ended. I get up each morning hoping, dreaming, longing to meet you. I am thinking of how we will meet, would it be as romantic as the ones I have seen in movies? Or is it possible that I have known you
all my life but we have yet to realize that we are meant for each other?

Oh how I wish you were here right now because you are the only one who has the answers to all my questions. Sometimes I ask myself if I have ever really known "love". I do not have the answer to that question either but
I believe that, more often than not, we will never really know what love is until we find that right person.... and since I have not found you yet, then maybe I do not really know what love is!

You just don't know how often I dream of finally knowing what it feels like to be in your arms. Even at this very moment I am imagining how you will simply sweep me off my feet! Perhaps I would be drawn to you by your
smile, or your eyes, or maybe even how you manage to make me laugh by your silly little ways! I don't really know for sure but I am praying that God will help me recognize you when the right time comes.

I think of all the pain that I have gone through in the past and of how much I have cried since the day I began my search. I just wanted you to know that I find my strength in clinging onto my vision of the beautiful
life ahead of me --- the life I shall spend with you. In my mind and in my heart I know that you are worth all that pain and sacrifice. After all, the tears have become a part of my life and I believe that they are slowly
washing away my flaws so that I would become perfect, not perfect in its truest sense, but perfect --- for YOU! I wonder if you've gone through so much pain as well. I wonder if you've been hurt so many times along the
journey. But my dearest one, please don't ever give up because I am right there... patiently waiting for you! I assure you that when we finally find each other I would slowly heal those wounds by my love.

At night, I would look out my window and stare at the beautiful sky, hoping that somehow you are also looking up and wondering about me. I utter a silent prayer and send all my cries to the heavens above thinking
that in time they would reach you. And when I feel impatient, I just close my eyes and believe that you are on your way and that you are longing to see me as well. It is funny but when I finally fall asleep, it is still you
that I think of, for you are always in my dreams. It seems that, for now, that is the only place where I can hold on to you, long enough to tell you how much I love you. In my dreams you would kiss away my fears and wrap me
with your arms of love. And this, all the more, makes me want to wake up and face the new day ahead with the hope that soon enough, you will no longer be a dream but a reality and once again I am assured that you are
worth the wait. And when that time comes, everything will fall into its place, just as I had imagined, just as I had thought and dreamed, just as I had believed it would be! By then, I would simply look back and smile at
all that I have gone through, in spite of the pain and amidst the simple joys of life --- and I would be very thankful because they all led me to you!

In the meantime, take care of yourself for me. Hold on to our dream and don't even think of letting go. Believe in your heart that we will find each other no matter what happens. God has planned the course and it is up
to us to follow the directions. Don't worry, don't be afraid about getting lost, God saw to it that all the roads, no matter which one you choose to follow, lead to me.

last things

1) Last book you read?
When God Writes Your Love Story

2) Last album you listened to:
The Company Anthology

3) Last time you thought you were going to die:
nung nag-earthquake...sometime in October yata...nasa office ako (15th floor ng RCBC Plaza)

4) Last time you cried:
December 2004

5) Last piece of clothing you bought:
black maong shorts

6) Last food you ate:
Oishi Cheeze on Chips and Presto Peanut-Butter Creams

7) Last dream you had:
VI-Gold Class Reunion

8) Last TV show you watched:
Last night's late evening newscast

9) Last computer program you bought:
none

10) Last time you felt inspired:
February 3, 2005

11) Last time you lied:
err, kanina lang...

12) Last time you got into a fight:
November 2001

13) Last time you were confused:
December 2004

13) Last magazine you read:
Kerygma, January issue

14) Last person you talked to on the telephone:
Darline

15) Last time you were in the hospital:
December 5, 2004...when we visited Marvin at Makati Medical Center

16) Last video you watched:
A Walk In The Clouds

17) Last movie you saw at the theater:
Meet The Fockers

18) Last contest you entered:
RCBC Star Search

19) Last photo shoot you went on:
Last year, with the officers of the SPP Children's Choir

20) Last song you listened to:
Kasama Ka...yung Coke commercial jingle

21) Last time you were betrayed:
December 2004

22) Last poster pinned in your bedroom wall:
i'm not into posters...puro glow-in-the-dark lang

23) Last time you thought you were going to war:
January 22, 2005...muntik ko nang awayin si Michael

24) Last pair of shoes you bought:
black strappy shoes with heels

forces of nature

Had an extremely busy day at work today...very draining...nevertheless, I still find a couple of reasons for me to be happy despite the, um, not so good stuff:

- Alfredo said he missed me soooooo much
- I was able to eat a decent lunch for only 35 pesos...grabe, pang-Guinness ito!
- Ate Minda gave me a bear hug
- Carol told me na nami-miss nya yung pagtuturo ko sa choir (andun kasi si Teacher Sampy kaya pang-gulo muna ang beauty ko!)

Minsan mahirap talagang espelengin (arrgh, my Tagalong spelling really sucks!) ang isang tao...Take the case of my friend, Jing...dahil lang sa isang maling salita na binitiwan nya, nag-react si Dida...because of this, Jing has to leave the practice early to cool down...well, I just hope she feels better soon...(yes, she shouldn't dapat...ha? Ano daw?...ang gulo no?)

Lesson learned: For every force, there is always an equal and opposite reaction. ;p

Yehey! Friday na naman bukas...

ash wednesday reflection

Go the extra mile this Lenten season
By Jerry M. Orbos, Svd

TODAY, Ash Wednesday is a day of fasting and abstinence. According to
Church precepts, those between 18 and 60 years old are obliged to fast,
i.e., to take only one full meal. Those who are 14 years old and above
are obliged to refrain from meat. The reason for fasting and abstinence
is repentance of one's sins and sacrifice to obtain special graces from
God.

The core of true fasting is the heart, the heart that wants to repent,
the heart that wants to love. Without the heart, we miss the whole
point. We may end up as Jesus sternly warns in today's Gospel (Mt.
6:1-6, 16-18) performing righteous deeds, giving alms, praying and
fasting, just for show and publicity.

Which reminds me of one particular Ash Wednesday. There I was applying
ashes on the forehead with the words: ''Remember thou art dust and to
dust you will return.'' This bejeweled and all made-up lady comes up and
tells me, ''Father, little only ha, kasi my make-up''! Here she was
being reminded of the death and dying to oneself, and all she could
think about was her make-up!

I made sure she would never forget the message of Lent all right by
putting a very big cross all the way down to her nose and all across her
forehead.

Beyond the rituals and obligations, go the ''extra mile'' this Lenten
season. Fast and abstain not only from food, but from bad habits and
vices as well, such as smoking, drinking, gossiping and hot temper.

Abstain from meat, and have lobsters and blue marlin instead? That's
not making it.

There is no real sense of sacrifice involved if you fast only to lose
weight or to reduce your blood cholesterol and uric acid.

There is no real sacrifice if you end up cranky, angry and resentful.
God wants sacrifice offered with a joyful heart, and a sincere heart
that really wants to give.

Reach out to loved ones

Reach out and take time for your loved ones now. When was the last time
you ''wasted'' time with the people whom God has given to you, who may
not speak the language of your so-called friends and acquaintances but
who for sure will be there for you and will go the ''extra mile'' for
you more than anybody else in this world?

A phone call. A letter. A text message. A little gift. A pat at the
back. Little, little things. They do mean a lot. But please. Do it now.
Not when he/she is dead and gone.

By ''extra mile,'' I definitely do not mean the funeral mile. And when
was the last time you really gave an ''extra mile'' for the less
fortunate people around?

Don't forget the social aspect of fasting in your family or community.
Perhaps you can agree to skip soft drinks, dessert, or shopping, and
give the money you saved for the less fortunate. What have you done for
others? Have you ever really given time, talent, and treasure till it
hurt. Please remember again that your mission in this world is not just
to become rich, powerful, or famous. We are all pilgrims in this world,
and we carry nothing with us when we leave except the love we shared.

Sit still

Reach out to your God. When was the last time you really sat still and
listened to God and allowed Him just to embrace and love you? When was
the last time you dropped by a lonely church just to say Hello? And when
was the last time you said ''sorry'' to the Lord, and really, really
meant it.

Don't wait for dead-end

Go the ''extra mile'' now, and not when you are already dying or dead.
For there would be no ''extra mile'' then when you've literally reached
the dead-end.

Ash Wednesday is just the beginning. There are 40 days (Cuaresma) of
prayers, fasting, and good works ahead of us. You will never experience
the true joy of Easter if you just let this 40 days pass you by without
offering sacrifices (till it hurts) and without true conversion in the
heart. Maybe there's a bad habit or two that you can work on. Perhaps
there's a positive thing or two, you can offer to God like, smiling more
often, being more giving and more affirming. Go the ''extra mile.''

Finally, when was the last time you really took the ''extra mile'' for
your true self--not the strong superman nor the unruffled hero, not the
fearless advocate you claim to be. When will you accept that you too are
human, needing rest, needing love and needing warmth?

Be good to yourself. Be true. Go beyond the rituals and obligations.
Walk the ''extra mile'' especially this Lenten Season. Walk it in
secret, and begin each mile with an S (Smile!).

That ''extra mile'' begins wherever you are, wherever you're at, right
now.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

We will be the choir sponsor for tonight's mass at 6:30...our rehearsals were quite cranky and ecstatic last night...sana we'll do well tonight...for God's glory... :)

swallowing one's pride

I feel bad...a past issue has recently resurfaced and they are making fun of it…they are giving their unsolicited and malicious remarks, well in fact, they don’t know anything about the story, how it started and who started it...looking back, I must admit, I still feel bad...like it just happened yesterday...there I was, trying to help a friend...in one snap of a finger, I became the nemesis to the heroine... as for my friend, well, they don’t even know that it all started with her , anyway...how did the story end? Well, I was the one who apologized instead...talk about "swallowing one's pride"...hindi sya masarap, promise!

sometimes, being too kind is risky...and the price you have to pay is your dignity...

one sunday morning

Hyatt stint was good except for Ryan and Jan's Latin lyrics during the Gloria...

...di ako mapakali, Trish was texting and calling me during the mass kasi wala pa ni isang tao sa bahay namin...the guys assigned for rockwell were supposed to meet at 9am in our house...for the nth time, Badette proved how irresponsible she really is! Imagine, nasa kanya yung pyesa na tutugtugin ni Trish pero late sya dumating...syempre, I, as well as the rest of the guys in Hyatt were panicking!!! Di tuloy kami nakakain ng maayos...later on I found out na naka-abot naman pala si badette...according to my mom, she went to the house at 9:20 followed by Dada at 9:30 (and he was the one assigned to carry the keyboard pa!)...nainis talaga ako sobra...how can some people be so insensitive, irresponsible, and....waaah!!!

Anyway, the guys at rockwell were given 1K for breakfast, half of which went to the group's fund...we, at Hyatt, were paid 1K...we only managed to shell out 200 bucks for our taxi fare...

1,300 pesos in cash...well, tuloy na ang tagaytay bonding namin on Feb. 25...yehey!!!

two Funerals and a gimmick

I decided to extend my sleeping hours instead of attending the 7am breakfast meeting this morning...blessing in disguise...a little bird told me that it took them about an hour and a half before the meeting proper started...had I attended the meeting, I would surely be late for the 10:30am mass...The mass in St. Andrew Parish was the culmination activity for the Pro Life Movement rally-cum-funeral...prior to the mass, they buried an aborted baby at the nearby South Cemetery…makes me wonder, how could somebody have the guts to kill an innocent child…may God forgive and bless the people responsible for this and may the soul of the innocent child rest in peace...amen...

Anyway, Ate Minda, Badette, Dida, Ryan and Mario did very well during the mass...one thing very fascinating about our stint was the designated location for the choir...they have this carpeted bleachers (riser, in choir lingo) and sensitive microphones...they also have three LCD projectors and an intelligent piano encased in a wooden casket...oops, I mean, protected by a wooden casing...wow! they must be getting a lot of collections lately... ;p

After the mass, Dida, Badette and I decided to have lunch at Ate Minda’s place…we saw Ate Minda’s baby pictures and played with little Dana...then there was the funeral mass at 2pm...he died of heart attack…30 years old, 6’2 in height and about to take his bar exams...I was kidding the girls (Carol joined us during the mass) that I have met the man of my dreams...on his funeral day...poor me!

We got paid 300 bucks...Carol had to go to her mom’s office and Badette had to go home early so Ate Minda, Dida and I ended up girl-bonding...later on, I had my Saturday evening routine...choir practice with the kids and the pretending-to-be-kids…hehehe…

I’m so excited for our stint tomorrow at Hyatt...lots of good luck to Carol and to the guys assigned at Powerplant...

Emotional Blackmail

Help! Somebody's giving me an emotional blackmail...naranasan mo na ba yun? Yung pilit na pinapahirapan ka emotionally and the person couldn't care less kung maloka ka na...nakaka-trauma, promise!

I asked the help of a few people and here are the suggestions:
- confront the person (I already did this…walang epekto!)
- consult a witch doctor (hey, nice suggestion! I'd probably resort to this if worse comes to worst.)
- tell the person to seek the help of a psychiatrist (yehey! Pwedeng pag-praktisan ni Jingjing!)
- deadma (eh pano nga kung makulit pa rin?)
- eh di deadma pa rin hanggang sa maubos ang load nya at di na mauso ang telepono at internet!

The entire day went just like that...I felt like a tortured being...

At last, something to relieve my mind of the torture! Later on, I watched the festival concert at the Las Pinas Bamboo Organ along with Jan, Marvin, and Carol. But before that, uminit na naman ang ulo ko dahil lamang sa isang pasaway ng tao…talk about insensitivity…kainis talaga! The good thing is, I got back to my normal self as soon as we arrived in Las Pinas. God, the church was enthralling! Nice edifice and very solemn…the perfect place for the magnificent Bamboo Organ…makes me want to get married right away...oops, got one big problem, though…the groom! Well, I just hope the church and the bamboo organ would still be there when I finally meet "The One"...hehehe...



The concert started off with a German playing the bamboo organ...he played the Trumpet Voluntary which, in fact, is originally intended for the trumpet, and another suite piece whose title slipped my mind as of the moment. Soon after, the members of the orchestra went up the stage along with the members of the festival chorale...surprisingly, hindi lang united colors of benetton and drama nila kundi star-studded din...nandun si Legolas at si Harry Potter! In fairness, standout pa rin si Mike, grabe! Honestly, I was a bit disappointed with their repertoire...they could have, at least, sang a few common songs...ayun, tinulugan tuloy sila ng mga pretending-to-be-cultural-enthusiasts...oh well...mas masaya yung journey namin pabalik...the four of us rode the ordinary bus sa pondohan malapit sa Coastal Mall...you should have seen the look on Carol's face while she was enjoying the ride back home...she's pretending she was in a roller-coaster ride...the look of innocence...

I'm headed for an extremely busy day tomorrow, 7am breakfast meeting, 10:30am choir service at St. Andrew Parish, 2pm funeral mass, 6:30pm children's choir rehearsals, 8pm youth choir rehearsal...hay, iniisip ko pa lang, pagod na ako!

...now, iniisip ko na naman yung taong nagbibigay sa akin ng emotional torture...kainis...i wish mag disappear na lang sya sa earth...

itutulog ko na lang 'to...

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Today is my dad’s 60th birthday. I really wanted to have a surprise party for him…complete with catering services, souvenirs, band, etc…but, my mom blew it! He told my dad a few weeks before his birthday. I couldn’t blame my mom for that ‘coz he knew my father. He wasn’t the type of person who would throw a lavish party just because he turned 60. He’d rather spend time with the family, do more important yet inexpensive stuff with the people he love…and I admire him for that.

My dad is much like a typical father but with a little ‘extra’. He isn’t the showy type but you will get to feel the sincerity of his love and care in simple ways one could ever imagine. He takes delight in waking me up in the morning and buying me merienda or balut. He may seem very strict but never did he lay a hand on me when I was a child. He was never patient but when it comes to my welfare, he seems to have all the time in the world. He never grows tired of waking up in the middle of the night just to open the door for me after a late night out. I really don’t mind having the key to our house. It brings me great joy to know and feel how happy my dad is when I get to arrive home in one piece…after all, I’m still his baby.

Like every normal father-and-daughter relationship, ours had its share of misunderstandings. Owe it to the fact that we are very much alike in many ways; our ideas, principles, and beliefs sometimes clash, and like the two similar poles of a magnet, we repel…but I love him just the same.

In general, having him as a father is really something I can truly be proud of.

He is my mentor, protector, counselor, number one critic, and number two fan (next to my mom!)

He sure has flaws…but who cares…nobody’s perfect anyway. For me, his imperfections and his good attributes made him the best father that he is to me…and I will be forever grateful for that.

Happy Birthday, Papa...i love you!