puzzled

I passed by an office supply store at Dela Costa St., and I saw a wooden thingy similar to the rubix cube. Dahil na rin siguro sa gusto kong makagawa naman ng bago paminsan-minsan, hindi na ako nagdalawang isip na bilhin yung cube. Sa sobrang excitement, sa office pa lang, sinubukan ko na syang gawin. To my surprise, na-dismantle ang cube nang i-twist ko sya! Hindi pala sya rubix cube kundi isang mahabang pinagdugtog-dugtong na maliliit na cubes na gagawin mong malaking cube na 3x3x3 ang size...kumusta naman? Anyway, natuwa na rin naman ako dahil first time ko nga itong gagawin kaya pinagsikapan ko pa rin syang i-solve...

Maya-maya pa, nakita ng boss ko, nag-try din syang i-solve...pero di sya nagwagi.

Tapos sa simbahan naman, habang hinihintay si Fr. Joseph, si Ate Minda naman ang nag-attempt na i-solve sya...hindi pa rin successful.

Nakauwi na rin ako ng bahay. Picture-picture muna ng wooden puzzle para may BEFORE photo:


Napuyat ako, huh! Nakatulugan ko na sya. Paggising ko kaninang umaga, sya ang una kong ginawa...habang nagpe-pray na sana mabuo ko na sya.

Maya-maya pa, heto na ang AFTER photo:


Kakatuwa di ba? Sa susunod, ibang wooden puzzle naman...

...pero gusto ko pa rin ng rubix cube.

After the storm...

Buti na lang nakinig ako sa payo ng aking butihing ama...kundi, malamang naranasan ko ang matinding hagupit ni Milenio sa daan...eto ang masaya: nag-text ako sa boss ko, sabi ko di na ako pinayagang pumasok ng tatay ko, sabay tanong kung papasok sya...akalain mong nag-text back: "D2 na ako sa ofc"...hehehe...kumusta naman ang pag-uwi mo mamaya, ate?

Ok na sana at nasa bahay ako...malungkot lang dahil biglang nag-brownout...birthday pa naman ni Dida...yun tuloy, di ko sya natugtugan sa Mass (sorry!)...

Later that night, when the entire Metro Manila and other parts of Luzon were in total darkness, sinundo ako nina Elay, Leo, Thina, Carl at ni birthday girl Dida dahil sa mga sumusunod na kadahilanan:

1. i-celebrate ang birthday ni Dida
2. mag-ice cream trip sa Mcdo
3. mag-occular inspection at umusyoso sa mga kaganapan sa daan matapos ang bagyo (kumusta naman ang mga babaeng naka-tube at turtle-neck sa Burgos?!)

Nakalulunos ang tanawin nung gabing yun...parang dead city ang Makati: maraming na-uproot na puno na nakahambalang sa daan, madilim, maraming kalat, nagbagsakan ang mga naglalakihang billboards sa Edsa...i really couldn't help but utter a silent prayer, I thanked God dahil sandali lang nanatili si Milenio...iisipin mo tuloy, ano pa kaya kung nagtagal sya ng 1 araw, di ba?

Dahil sa matinding depression, at dahil na rin sa walang bukas na McDonald's, napunta kami sa Powerplant...sa daan palang papunta dun, nalungkot na naman kami...pati pala Powerplant ay nakayang gupuin ni Milenio...tsk, tsk, tsk...

...buti na lang I'm was in the company of good friends



...buti na lang masarap ang McFloat, McDip, at Chocolate Sundae sa Mcdo
...buti na lang maraming nagkalat na mga guwapong hombre sa Powerplant
...buti na lang na-piktyuran ko 'tong message na naka-post sa isang store sa Powerplant:



Hay! Sabi nga ni birthday girl Dida, siguro nga kaya sobrang lakas ni Milenio kasi kinuha na nya lahat ng pain at misery para pagkatapos nun "good morning, sunshine!" na...



At kinabukasan, isang magandang umaga nga ang sumalubong sa amin...without any trace of what happened the night before...

...except for the brownout and uprooted trees along the way.

Nice To Have You Back

All's well that ends well...



"I'm coming out..and i want the world to know...i've got to let it show!"

Go, friend! Nasa likod mo kaming lahat...

..hindi na 'to "to the highest level", promise!

The Power of Two

Today is Rachel's last day at work.

I'm having mixed emotions.

I may have lost a constant companion...a programming buddy...a singing partner...a laughing cohort...a tough-but-sweet ally...



We may have gone our separate ways...

...but I know in our hearts, we will always be the Power of Two.

I will surely miss you, little sis!

Times Two

My SPPYC family feasted on 2 huge servings of PenPals Polka at Manila Peninsula.



The reason for the celebration?

Carol's birthday treat and my thanksgiving treat for my recent promotion.

Double the treat, double the fun!



Ngayon, isang long table na kami...a wish come true.

Autograph, please!

I prepared an activity for the choir last night...an autograph signing session. I gave each member a list of characteristics and opposite each item, kailangang papirmahin nila yung member ng choir na feel nila ay swak sa nasabing characteristic. Kaya lang, ang catch dun...kailangan pipirma lang yung person concerned...bawal magtanong, bawal umapela.

Eto nga pala yung autograph na naipon ko kagabi:



Responsible -> Dida...sobra ito, proven and time-tested
Mababaw ang kaligayahan -> Badet...ngitian mo lang, buo na araw nya
Maingay -> Badet...kahit on-going ang misa, hay!
Emotional -> Jingjing...di ba't umiyak pa nga sya kagabi?
Laging inaalaska -> Badet...medyo kakaiba kasi talaga sya...
Maganda ang mata -> Marvin...mala-Angel Locsin ba...
Mahiyain -> Carlito...ay sus! minsan gusto ko na nga sya i-mental telepathy
Madalas late sa Mass -> Jingjing...ikaw ba naman magkaroon ng maraming sideline!
Smiling face -> Jingjing...chinita kasi...uy, marami rin nagka-crush sa kanya!
Palaging "hyper" -> Dida...di na kailangan ng ecstasy!
Patient -> Elay...hats off ako sa kanya, over!
Mabagal kumilos -> Tina...matagal kasi sya tumawid mula McDonald's hanggang Petron
Sensitive -> Marvin...very motherly and caring
Hanep kumanta -> Tina...pwede nya kabugin si lola Regine!
Punctual -> Mike...mula noon, hanggang ngayon...mapa-practice, gig, o gimik
Prangka -> Tina...out-spoken
Madalas absent sa practice -> Dennis...pwede ko na rin sya gawan ng libro ng alibi...
Observant -> Elay...silent water runs deep
Sexy -> Marvin...pati bading nabibighani sa kanya...
Pasaway -> Jhrqx...the one, and the only!
Di mo malapitan (intimidating) -> Mike...katakot pag nakasimangot!
Matalino -> Leo...sensible at may logic na tao...
Mainitin ang ulo -> Jan...pag naiinitan o naiinip
Thoughtful -> Elay...di nakakalimot tuwing pasko...lagi syang may pasalubong...
Magaling pumorma -> Jan...napaka-banidosong tao!
Laging aburido -> Mike...kasi...kasi...no comment...basta, June 1!
Masarap kausap -> Carol...meron kaming intellectual intercourse...
Walang pakialam -> Jhrqx...wala rin akong pakialam!
Maraming nagkaka-crush -> Leo...ilan pa bang tao ang magiging maaburido ng dahil sa kanya? haba ng hair mo, ate!

Sa tingin ko, mukhang nag-enjoy naman sila dun sa activity. They were able to validate kung tama nga yung impressions nila sa isa't-isa. They were able to acknowledge the affirmation, if not express themselves openly regarding some issues concerning preconceived notions about themselves. Somehow, na-meet ko yung objective ko (sigh!). Though I have to admit na medyo kulang pa yung processing kasi medyo late na rin kasi kami nagstart.

Some other time, perhaps.

Thanks for the affirmation, guys! Ganun pala ang feeling ng artista...hehehe!

I Love Fridays

For me, Friday means:

... Joe D' Mango's Lovenotes
... Food shop/restaurant hunting
... Carl's Day
..."laugh & trip-till-you-drop"


Had lunch with four of my bossom office buddies: Rachel, Gima, and Alaine, and had another discovery today: Amici. It's a cafeteria beside Don Bosco church which specializes in Italian cuisine. The food is superb! Their pasta is at par with that of Spaghetti Factory and Old Spaghetti House but a little less cheaper. What I like most is the gellato (ice cream) which comes in very exciting and intriguing flavors! Yummy!


Ladies-in-waiting...picture muna!


Amici's thin-crust Hawaiian Pizza


Seafood Pasta


Where did the Pasta Montenara go?

Can't wait for another food trip, this time with my choirmates...

Later that night was the usual Carl's Day (or night?). We had fun at Coco Cobanna with our guest, my good friend Rachel.


Legal ito!!! Hehehe...

Afterwards, we proceeded at the Providence Videoke Bar along Leon Guinto St., Manila. Too bad I had to go home a bit earlier than everyone else. Arrgh! My lower back is killing me! Thanks to Tina for covering the rest of the fun and laughter in video. Ahh...wonders of technology!


I LOVE FRIDAYS...

...AND THE FRIDAY PEOPLE, of course!

Penpals' Polka

Isang malamig at maulan na sabado ng hapon, kami'y nagka-ayaan.

Ang trip: kumain ng ice cream sa Manila Peninsula
(oo, tama ang pagkakabasa mo!)

Merong ice cream na pang-tropa dun...ang tawag sa kanya ay PenPals Polka. Meron syang iba't-ibang flavors ng ice cream at sherbet, marshmallows, fruits, at wafer sticks na nakalagay sa isang malaki at malalim na kopita...



Sa halagang Php 700.00, kasama na ang mga kung anik-anik na tax, solve kaming lahat...may bonus pang kodakan at chika (how's the business?) at muy guwapitong hombre (how's my booger?...ang panget...hehehe)

At maya-maya pa, eto na ang kinalabasan ng ice cream:




Hmmm...mas masarap pala ang ice cream kapag pinag-aagawan sa isang sosyal na lugar.

Sana sa susunod na ice cream trip, isang long table na tayo...woohooo!

Constructive Criticism

I'm open to criticisms

I believe that it's part and parcel of anything you do. Sure, you can't please everybody but you simply cannot stop them from criticizing you either.

As humans, we tend to react by impulse. However, reactions may vary depending on one's nature. Others simply ignore the criticism by flaunting their "for-all-I-care" attitude. Others accept the criticisms and take it on a positive note. They either make the necessary steps to correct it or they come up with solutions to prove that their critics are wrong. Worst case scenario would be engaging one's self to a fiery debate, blatantly defending himself from the verbal assaults of his critic/s.

Last Thursday evening, July 20, just before my choir rehearsals, I was confronted by one of our parish's highly respected laity leader. Here's an excerpt from our discussion:

Her : Ayan, nandito ka! Uy, sabihan mo naman na gandahan yung pagkanta ng mga umaawit sa misa.
Me : Sino pong kumakanta?
Her : Yung kumakanta sa misa.
Me : Saang mass po specifically?
Her : Yung alas sais ng gabi pag linggo.
Me : Teka po, kami yun ah!
Her : Oo nga, gandahan nyo naman yung pagkanta nyo.
(starts to walk away)
Me : Kailan po yung pangit naming kanta? Kailan pong specific na linggo? (beginning to sound defensive)
Her : Basta linggo, alas sais ng gabi.
(walking towards the brown gate of the parish)
Me : Ganun?! Ok ah! Parang wala kaming kinantang tama. Ang sama naman nun!
(in a sarcastic tone)
Her : Basta linggo yun. Yun na yun. Uy, constructive criticism yun ha?
(now outside the gate)

Yeah, right. Constructive criticism.

In as much as I don't want get affected, I just found her words reverberating in my ears. What I couldn't understand was the fact that how could somebody regarded as an excellent leader and a good motivator be so careless in expressing her opinion. It could have been done in a proper venue. We could have discussed it privately, leader to leader. But definitely not in the presence of some of the members of the youth choir who were with me during that time.

I just thought of what they felt at that particular moment.

Sigh.

A Year After

Today is July 18.

Exactly a year after the vehicular accident I had gotten into.

In as much as I don't want to remember all the details of that traumatic experience, they just kept flashing into my mind:

..the thought that I have forgotten to kiss mom but totally ignored it...the keen intuition I was feeling back then...the jeepney ride to Ayala...the Petron gasoline station at Makati Avenue...my leisure walking...the white taxi cab...the spot where I had lain after I was bumped by a passenger jeepney...waking up inside a car...the blood stains on the seat cover and printed documents...my swelling forehead...tita Evelyn, my earth-bound angel...the jeepney driver...the questions that raced through my mind...the series of tests I went through at the trauma unit of Ospital Ng Makati...my bruises and contusions... mom's look when she finally saw me lying at the hospital bed...dad's surprisingly calm nature...the insensitive nurse...Rachel's assistance...the ambulance ride from Ospital Ng Makati to Makati Medical Center...the hospital room...the anti-tetanus allergy...the negative CT Scan results...the people who visited me...the prayers and mass intentions for my speedy recovery...

Today could've been my first death anniversary.

Thanked God, it's not.

Rather, it's a day of thanksgiving:

...for the not-so-pleasant experience that made me who I am now

...for my parents who were always there for me

...for Tita Evelyn, my earth-bound angel

...for my friends, choir mates and relatives who have given me their love and encouragement

...for the realizations I had after the accident

...FOR MY SECOND CHANCE AT LIFE.

The Tissue Trick

The SPP Youth Choir had a fellowship-cum-team building at Gerry's Grill Jupiter.

After we had dinner and surprised Jing with a chocolate birthday cake, we proceeded with the night's agenda: Getting To Know You (background music, please...)

I passed a roll of bathroom tissue around and asked each one of them to get as many tissues as they can. Later on, I revealed that they are to say something about themselves based on the number of tissues they got from the roll.

Some got 3, others got 7 or 8. Others got 12 or 14.

We had a night filled with laughter, sensible talks, and wonderful discoveries. It's pretty amazing how a new comer can easily open up with the group. But it's equally interesting to find out how one can know another person for quite sometime yet still has a lot to discover from that person.

Later on that night, after everyone had gone home, someone went to a self-discovery journey...and he has two weeks to prove me that he's no loser.

guilt feelings

I hate myself.

Sometimes, I just can seem to balance myself in certain situations. Whenever I
get to focus on something, chances are, I fail to see the other side of things
which also require my immediate attention. In the process, there are things,
and most of the time, people that I hurt.

Had an extremely busy weekend. Then, a particular scenario came. It's something
that i don't want to happen. I was too immersed with the situation. Primarily
because of the possible implications that it might bring. Charge it to the fact
that that I've been in this kind of situation before...and i just don't want it
to happen again...ever!

Then it happened. As I was busy resolving the issue, I failed to see that someone
needed my attention and understanding. I know I've caused her pain...and it took
me a small fraction of time to realize it...and when i finally did, it was already
too late...

Later on that evening, my group and I decided to unwind near the Breakwaters.
It was a breather for me.

We had dinner at Teriyaki Boy...

had picture taking...



had ice cream and fondue at Iceberg's...



The desserts were delectable...

...but it failed to help me soothe that one unpleasant feeling...GUILT.

just because...

Here I go again...a lot of thoughts are racing through my mind...i don't like it when i think too much...i usually end up emotionally sabotaged...i hate this feeling...wait...i don't just hate it...i totally abhor it.

Damn.



Just because my eyes don't shed tears doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry.

Just because I come out strong doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

Often I choose to pretend I'm happy so I don't have to explain to other people.

Smiling has always been easier than explaining why I'm sad.

Damn, i need a hug.

The Gathering

Ryan's despidida...SM Manila...Videoke King Karaoke...Eryc's jampacked Revo...shining shimmering splendid...non-stop kodakan...Providence...Farewell To You My Friend...Leaving On A Jet Plane...Luha



17 songs + 17 talented individuals = 1 fantabulous album

We missed you, Elay.

Yaman Ng Poblacion

We were invited at my good friend Dwayne's documentary show entitled "Yaman Ng Poblacion" held at the Sts. Peter & Paul Parish Church. We sang the Invocation and the Philippine National Anthem.



It was a nice experience. Now we can consider ourselves part of Poblacion's roster of talents and treasures...naks!

Before I forget...happy birthday, Carl! Welcome to the family. :)

Chelsey

I received a nice gift from a friend. Actually, it's a thank-you-and-get-well-soon gift.



Her name is Chelsey.



Thanks for being so sweet and thoughtful, Leo.

Thanks also to my friends in the choir for visiting me. Na-touch ako. Sobra.

I love you, guys.

Until Then...

It happened so fast. The last thing we knew, Ryan, a co-member in the choir will be leaving on July 2 to try his luck in a foreign land (Dubai). As the saying goes, "if something is really meant for you, everything will fall in the right place and at the right time." Unfortunately, that means he'll be leaving behind his SPPYC family...his home for nearly 5 years.

In our lifetime, people come and go. But certainly, no love, no friendship can ever cross our paths without affecting us in some ways forever.

I wish you the best of everything as another chapter of your life unfolds.



Thanks for everything, Ryan.

It's not "goodbye" but "until then".

Unrequited Love

One of the challenging tasks of being a mentor is that you need to be a good listener...a sponge...you need to have the talent to suspend personal judgement...and a knack for putting yourself in the other person's shoes so you can relate with what the other person is feeling on the given situation.

A friend recently confided a love problem. It's a case of unrequited love. Aha! What a nice topic. Suddenly, memories kept flashing back.



It's really a nice feeling to be in love. I remember a particular poem which speaks about the gush of being in love:

Every time I see you
I catch my breath and gasp
Every time I see you
I hope it's not the last

Every time I see you
I melt beneath your glance
Every time I see you
I want for cupid's chance

Every time I see you
I yearn to draw you close
Every time I see you
It nurtures my resolve

Every time I see you
I dream of heartfelt love
But each time that I see you
A touch would be enough

Every time I see you
Your smile kisses my soul
Every time I see you
I long for love to grow

How ideal. How profound. But when you come into terms with the reality that what you're feeling can't be returned at all, there comes the tragedy.

My advise to you, my friend? Learn to let go and eventually move on. I've been there and it brought me so much pain and misery. I've wasted so many years holding on to what I thought was there all along. Don't be too focused on something futile well in fact, there might be someone out there who is very much willing to love you for who you are.

If I only advised myself the way I advised you now, I would have been happier then.

SPPYC Post-Summer Outing Adventure

Date:
May 20-21 (ay, di pwede si Ryan...)
May 27-28 (di pwede si Ate Jhie...)
June 3-4 (period. no erase. nasa akin ang susi. ang umangal, di kasali!)

Venue:
Villa Madonna -> Puerto Galera -> Pampanga -> Laguna -> Bulacan -> Cavite -> Puerto Galera -> Laguna...Villa Normita...FINAL ANSWER!!!
(parang tour of Luzon yun ah! napagod ako sa biyahe, in fainess!!!)


Departure Time from Manila:
7:30 (pero, 8pm talaga sya!)...naging 8:30 (pero 8pm talaga dapat sya!)...na naging 9:05 (hay salamat, nakaalis din...pero 8pm dapat talaga sya!!!)


Sidelights:
- naranasan mo na bang mag-hiking na nakasakay ka sa jeep?
- mataas ang lugar, promise...muntik na naming maabot ang mga bituin sa langit
- maganda ang lugar, pati ang mga quarters
- may slide!!!
- maligamgam ang tubig
- may kiddie pool na pwedeng paglagaan ng egg
- si mike ang pumalit sa trono ni jingjing sa pagiging videoke master (adik!)
- may presscon sa poolside ang Darling of the Press
- naging "falling star" si Marvin...not just once but twice!
- nalasing si mike at muntik nang...("teka, i don't owe any explanation to anybody!")
- nagluto si mike ng napakasarap na sinigang ("a way to a man's heart is through his stomach")
- nakapag-hire kami ng driver at all-around helper all rolled into one...partida na yun kasi kasama sa bayad yung upa sa jeep!
- na bad-trip si ate minda (eh sabi kasing ibigay mo yung songbook eh...damot!)
- ang sumabog na gulong sa South Super Highway
- ang kodakan sa South Super Highway (care namin sa gulong, no?!)
- ang charades sa jeep (Ninja Turles!...Ahmmm.... Ninja?...Turles?)

Kodak Moments:

The Science Project

PROBLEM:
Is Specimen A in love with Specimen B?

HYPOTHESIS:
Specimen A is in love with Specimen B. This hypothesis is based on the informal, exploratory observation on Specimen A's behavior during the past weeks. It appears that signs of being in love are evident and profound.

PREDICTION:
A certain situation or "stimulus" will definitely cause a sudden change in Specimen A's behavior.

EXPERIMENTATION:
Creating a scenario that will validate the assumption.

Step 1: Gather all requirements and tools needed
Step 2: Strategically plan the "scenario", taking into consideration all possible loopholes and unforeseen circumstances
Step 3: Execute plan at the appointed time
Step 4: Analyze and record all observations

CONCLUSION:
Based on the results of the experiment, it is therefore concluded that specimen A is, without a doubt, in love with specimen B.

CASE CLOSED.

Drew

I want a laptop...

And I know I'll have it soon...

I'll be able to compose my blogs at home...

I can download all pictures directly from my Sony Ericsson...

I'll be able to freely chat with friends via Yahoo Messenger...

I'll burn CDs and DVDs...

I'll be forever connected to the web...

I'll try the Wi-Fi thingy while having coffee at Starbucks...
(it's just too bad that my favorite Rhumba won't be there anymore...sigh!)

Soon.

Great!




Ei, Drew, what's up?

it all depends on God's will

"Dear God...let me then be your instrument."

Amen.

it's not funny

I received a text message forwarded to me by a good friend. In it were reactions of a certain individual who seems to be full of angst and bitterness.

"...Hindi na ito nakakatuwa."

Those were the exact words.

Ako din, hindi ako natuwa. In fact, I was pissed off! How dare you bluntly express your feelings well, in fact, you don't even know the reason behind such decision. Do think I planned everything just to ruin our plans? And do you know what it would cost me should I adhere to pursue with what you think is the "proper" way to do? MY JOB!!!

That remark of yours was totally uncalled for. It was foul.

"Hindi ka nakakatuwa."

If you are bitter or you want to prove something, don't do it at the expense of others.

It's pathetic.

the neophyte cook

We have lots of recipes and cookbooks at home but i never tried using them...ewan ko ba, parang ayaw kasi sa akin ng pagluluto...simpleng frying nga lang, naku po, para akong nakikipaglaban dahil bukod sa may hawak akong sheild (yung takip ng kaldero) at espada (siyanse), tumatalon-talon pa ako with matching cover-cover pa sa "sheild" kuno...hay!

Last night, habang nag-aayos ng mga kalat ko, i browsed through one of our cookbooks...stir-fried dishes...ah! madali lang 'to! At since mahilig ako sa sweet & sour, yung Stir-Fried Chicken Sweet & Sour with Pineapple ang pinili kong lutuin...15 minutes preparation, madaling mahanap ang ingredients, at higit sa lahat, madaling sundan ang instructions...

Matapos ang 15 minutes, eto ang kinalabasan:




Pinagsaluhan naming mag-anak ang aking unang dish...pwede na daw akong magluto sabi ng tatay ko...naks!

O ayan, pwede ko nang ma-apply yung saying na:
"A way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Hehehe...

masaya ako...malungkot ako...

Masaya ako dahil maganda ang kanta namin last easter vigil...all our efforts have paid off...at least for some...(do i hear somebody saying "ouch"?)

Malungkot ako dahil sa ilang mga bagay-bagay na nakaka-disappoint...

...ayan naiiyak na naman ako!


Masaya ako dahil maganda ang kuha ko sa group picture na ito...



Malungkot ako dahil...hindi ako kasama sa picture.

...waaah!


Masaya ako dahil nag-fellowship kami ni Kuya Nog at ni Derps sa Mandarin Hotel...at kumain ako ng fondue...tapos may malaking chocolate fountain! sarap!



Cge na nga, masaya na ako!

Happy Easter, everyone!

i'm only human

So who says tough girls don't cry?

Mabuti na lang may halu-halo at may isang mabuting kaibigan na handang dumamay at maki-iyak (?)...



Thanks for listening, Danna.

7 days and 7 nights

I turned 30 years old last April 2. But it took about a week before the birthday phenomena was over:


April 1.
I had dinner with my closest friends at the Seaside and Cowboy Grill. However, my dearest friend, John, wasn't able to make it due to some urgent matters. It's alright, John. You owe me one. In general, it was a refreshing celebration. Very intimate...just the way I wanted it to be. Thanks for making it come true, Schatzi. I love you.




April 2.
Had lunch at Hap Chan at Market! Market! with my parents and my aunt. This is my first birthday that I celebrated it with my aunt...I think this could pass as an entry to the Guinness Book.

Later on that night, I had my second birthday celebration – this time, with the SPP Youth Choir. It was fun. A total contrast to the celebration I had the previous night. Lots of laughter, silly jokes, and revelations during the most-awaited pik-pak-boom game. Too bad, I wasn't able to join them during the game. Been very busy answering birthday greetings sent via SMS. Thanks for the cake, guys.




April 3.
An ordinary day at the office. I received a card and wind chime from Gima, and a purple drawstring pants from Alaine that she personally bought from Puerto Galera. My boss didn’t greet me. No big deal.


April 4.
I received a bouquet of one dozen yellow roses all the way from London. Thanks for the wonderful surprise. Promise, I'll always take care. Miss you.




April 5.
I received a text message coming from a dear friend. Though the greeting was three days late, I really appreciate it. Thanks for the annual birthday greetings and for keeping in touch. I'm so honored by the fact that you still have my mobile number after all these years. Hope we can get together soon.


April 6.
I received another surprise gift from a family friend. It's a book on how to simplify life. Thanks for the book. I must admit, my life is full of clutter. I know this book will help me clean my life's mess brought about by unfortunate events and throw away all the unnecessary burden that I've been carrying all these years.


April 7.
Had the final birthday celebration with a good friend at MyLK in Greenbelt 3. Save the best for last. :)



Lord, I thank you for the past 29 years of my life. Thank you for being with me all these years and for sending me the wonderful people who have given me their unconditional love and untiring support. Now as I look forward to another year, I ask for your blessing. Give me the grace to overcome the little problems that will come my way and embrace every little blessing that you will bestow upon me. Help me to live according to your will. I love you, Lord. Amen.

Yin-Yang

Sadyang kay bilis ng panahon. Di na natin namalayan na labinlimang taon na pala tayong magkaibigan.

Naalala mo pa ba nung una tayong nagkakilala? Ako, tandang-tanda ko pa lahat – ang petsa, lugar, okasyon, pati oras...o, san ka pa?!

Sa loob ng 15 taon, marami nang nabago...sa iyo...sa akin...sa ating mga pag-uugali at pananaw sa buhay...

Marami na ring mga bagay at tao na dumaan sa buhay natin na naka-apekto sa kung ano at kung sino tayo ngayon...

Sa pagkakataong ito, gusto kong malaman mo na natutuwa ako at naging bahagi ka ng pagkatao ko na di maaaring maglaho kailanman...

Salamat sa mga pag-aalala, pagmamahal, pagkakaibigan, luha, at tuwa na idinulot mo sa buhay ko...


Isang tagay naman dyan!

Lessons from a Rhumba Frap

I'm so sad...

...a lot of things are happening lately...i'm literally torn into pieces...



Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko, bumili ako ng Venti Starbuck's Rhumba Frap...natuwa ako kasi sa ibang branch ng Starbucks, wala ng Rhumba...discontinued na raw sabi nila...mabuti na lang sa Standard Chartered branch meron pa...actually, hinihintay na lang nila maubos.

Nalungkot na naman ako...pati ba naman Rhumba Frap?

Pero sabi nila, meron daw ipapalit na bagong flavor, mas masarap kesa Rhumba...

Ah! parang yung tinext sa akin ng friend ko..."God will never leave you empty because He will replace everything you have lost. If He asks you to put something down, it's because He wants you to pick something great."

Sige, I'll look forward to that new coffee flavor...

...at dun sa "something great" na mangyayari sa buhay ko.

Hear what I'd like to say but what I can not say...

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure; that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; That confidence is my name and coolness my game,
That the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask.
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weaknesses and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me pretend.
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation, and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, and if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self-built prison walls.

I dislike hiding, honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold.
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise.
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me of what I can't assure myself,
That I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game.
With a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within.

So begins the parade of masks.
The glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.
Hear what I'd like to say but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you, long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear.

Dream Of Me

10 years from now...

...i'll be 50,000 pesos richer.




Ikaw naman kasi. Sa dinami-dami ng puwede mong ipusta sa akin, dun ka pa sa siguradong talo ka.

Alam ko, masamang magsalita ng tapos pero sa puntong ito, lalagyan ko ng tuldok ang sasabihin ko.

HINDI MANGYAYARI YUN. <-- kita mo yun, may tuldok?!

Kahit maghanap ka pa ng kakampi, gumawa ng lahat ng paraan, at kahit daanin mo pa sa dahas...

HINDI MANGYAYARI YUN. <-- kita mo, may tuldok ulet?!

Ngayon pa lang, pag-aralan mo nang tanggapin na talo ka na.

Mag-ipon ka na rin ng pera :)

Sayang, kung sa ibang bagay ka pumusta, baka manalo ka pa...

The Love Factor

I had a very sensible and lengthy discussion last night with 2 of my male friends. The topic was about my current civil status. Both of them were very much concerned with my current situation. You see, I'll be turning 30 this coming April, yet I haven't experienced how it is to love and be loved by someone from the opposite sex. As for me, I haven't really done some serious thinking about being single for life...until these two individuals braved their way to finally confront me with the issue.

According to them, there are four factors that contribute to my current situation:

Factor #1: My credentials are "too high"

A woman of character, independent, smart, talented, born-leader, sensible, perfectionist. These are some of the words that they use to describe me. According to my friend, I am a threat to any man. Well, I don't think so. As far as I am concerned, I am willing to submit myself to a man who's worth it.


Factor #2: I'm too tied up with my work and extra-curricular activities

Absolutely. Take a look at my weekly sked last year; I stay late in the office every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I have rehearsals on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday. I have an entirely busy Sunday. Now tell me, where can I squeeze him in? Singing and teaching the choir are two things that I really love to do. I just couldn't imagine myself not conducting rehearsals or not singing for an entire week! It's my life. Besides, I still have nobody to "bequeath the throne" to. However, after some serious thinking, I can perhaps change it a bit so I could spend more time for myself.


Factor #3: I have a high-standard when it comes to men

Who wouldn't want a gallant knight in shining armor? Unfortunately, he doesn't exist. Not in this lifetime, honey. And I know that for a fact. To get things straight, my criterion is simple: he is should be someone who will love and understand me despite my weakness and shortcomings.


Factor #4: I am afraid of falling in love with the wrong person

Alright, I admit. I want to experience how it is to love and be loved in return but I certainly don’t want to be hurt in the process. I'm too idealistic when it comes to matters of the heart. Blame it on my perfectionist side.


Later on that night, I received a text message from one of my 2 male friends. It says:

"Assuming that you died in that accident, do you think the music ministry will die with you? God has given you not just another chance to live but also a chance to change the direction of your life according to God’s best plans for you."


And that really struck me.

New Year Get-Together

SPSM Batch '89 had a get-together dinner at Gerry's Grill, Glorietta...Jules, a former batchmate was here for a two-week vacation...

Of course, the night was filled with so much reminiscing, fun, and yes, pictures!


In front of Gerry's Grill


With Julina at Greebelt 3

Happy Birthday, Elay!

Happy birthday, Elay!

May true love and happiness find you and may it fill you with all of life's vibrant colors!

Cheers!

2005...the year that was

2005...a year filled with so many things:


Realizations...
"Nothing in life is more important than God and your family and friends."

"Anyone that means something to you-you should spend time with them and let them know how much they mean to you as often as you can."


Lessons Learned...
"Trust your hunches. They're usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level."

"Life is short and we have a very limited time. Always make the most of each day and never forget to tell those you love that you love them."

"Don't expect anything if you don't want to get hurt in the end."


Metamorphosis...
"Reach higher, and you'll attain more. Expect more of yourself, and those expectations will soon become your reality. Each day provides ample opportunity for improvement. So expect to improve. And you will."


Letting go...
"If you’re holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to LET IT GO!
If you are holding on to past hurts and pains...LET IT GO!
If someone can’t treat you right, love you back and see your worth...LET IT GO!"

Indeed, 2005 has been a good year.




Thank you, Lord for giving me the chance to welcome 2006 and to look forward to what lies ahead of me...