The Tissue Trick

The SPP Youth Choir had a fellowship-cum-team building at Gerry's Grill Jupiter.

After we had dinner and surprised Jing with a chocolate birthday cake, we proceeded with the night's agenda: Getting To Know You (background music, please...)

I passed a roll of bathroom tissue around and asked each one of them to get as many tissues as they can. Later on, I revealed that they are to say something about themselves based on the number of tissues they got from the roll.

Some got 3, others got 7 or 8. Others got 12 or 14.

We had a night filled with laughter, sensible talks, and wonderful discoveries. It's pretty amazing how a new comer can easily open up with the group. But it's equally interesting to find out how one can know another person for quite sometime yet still has a lot to discover from that person.

Later on that night, after everyone had gone home, someone went to a self-discovery journey...and he has two weeks to prove me that he's no loser.

guilt feelings

I hate myself.

Sometimes, I just can seem to balance myself in certain situations. Whenever I
get to focus on something, chances are, I fail to see the other side of things
which also require my immediate attention. In the process, there are things,
and most of the time, people that I hurt.

Had an extremely busy weekend. Then, a particular scenario came. It's something
that i don't want to happen. I was too immersed with the situation. Primarily
because of the possible implications that it might bring. Charge it to the fact
that that I've been in this kind of situation before...and i just don't want it
to happen again...ever!

Then it happened. As I was busy resolving the issue, I failed to see that someone
needed my attention and understanding. I know I've caused her pain...and it took
me a small fraction of time to realize it...and when i finally did, it was already
too late...

Later on that evening, my group and I decided to unwind near the Breakwaters.
It was a breather for me.

We had dinner at Teriyaki Boy...

had picture taking...



had ice cream and fondue at Iceberg's...



The desserts were delectable...

...but it failed to help me soothe that one unpleasant feeling...GUILT.

just because...

Here I go again...a lot of thoughts are racing through my mind...i don't like it when i think too much...i usually end up emotionally sabotaged...i hate this feeling...wait...i don't just hate it...i totally abhor it.

Damn.



Just because my eyes don't shed tears doesn't mean my heart doesn't cry.

Just because I come out strong doesn't mean there's nothing wrong.

Often I choose to pretend I'm happy so I don't have to explain to other people.

Smiling has always been easier than explaining why I'm sad.

Damn, i need a hug.

The Gathering

Ryan's despidida...SM Manila...Videoke King Karaoke...Eryc's jampacked Revo...shining shimmering splendid...non-stop kodakan...Providence...Farewell To You My Friend...Leaving On A Jet Plane...Luha



17 songs + 17 talented individuals = 1 fantabulous album

We missed you, Elay.

Yaman Ng Poblacion

We were invited at my good friend Dwayne's documentary show entitled "Yaman Ng Poblacion" held at the Sts. Peter & Paul Parish Church. We sang the Invocation and the Philippine National Anthem.



It was a nice experience. Now we can consider ourselves part of Poblacion's roster of talents and treasures...naks!

Before I forget...happy birthday, Carl! Welcome to the family. :)

Chelsey

I received a nice gift from a friend. Actually, it's a thank-you-and-get-well-soon gift.



Her name is Chelsey.



Thanks for being so sweet and thoughtful, Leo.

Thanks also to my friends in the choir for visiting me. Na-touch ako. Sobra.

I love you, guys.

Until Then...

It happened so fast. The last thing we knew, Ryan, a co-member in the choir will be leaving on July 2 to try his luck in a foreign land (Dubai). As the saying goes, "if something is really meant for you, everything will fall in the right place and at the right time." Unfortunately, that means he'll be leaving behind his SPPYC family...his home for nearly 5 years.

In our lifetime, people come and go. But certainly, no love, no friendship can ever cross our paths without affecting us in some ways forever.

I wish you the best of everything as another chapter of your life unfolds.



Thanks for everything, Ryan.

It's not "goodbye" but "until then".

Unrequited Love

One of the challenging tasks of being a mentor is that you need to be a good listener...a sponge...you need to have the talent to suspend personal judgement...and a knack for putting yourself in the other person's shoes so you can relate with what the other person is feeling on the given situation.

A friend recently confided a love problem. It's a case of unrequited love. Aha! What a nice topic. Suddenly, memories kept flashing back.



It's really a nice feeling to be in love. I remember a particular poem which speaks about the gush of being in love:

Every time I see you
I catch my breath and gasp
Every time I see you
I hope it's not the last

Every time I see you
I melt beneath your glance
Every time I see you
I want for cupid's chance

Every time I see you
I yearn to draw you close
Every time I see you
It nurtures my resolve

Every time I see you
I dream of heartfelt love
But each time that I see you
A touch would be enough

Every time I see you
Your smile kisses my soul
Every time I see you
I long for love to grow

How ideal. How profound. But when you come into terms with the reality that what you're feeling can't be returned at all, there comes the tragedy.

My advise to you, my friend? Learn to let go and eventually move on. I've been there and it brought me so much pain and misery. I've wasted so many years holding on to what I thought was there all along. Don't be too focused on something futile well in fact, there might be someone out there who is very much willing to love you for who you are.

If I only advised myself the way I advised you now, I would have been happier then.

SPPYC Post-Summer Outing Adventure

Date:
May 20-21 (ay, di pwede si Ryan...)
May 27-28 (di pwede si Ate Jhie...)
June 3-4 (period. no erase. nasa akin ang susi. ang umangal, di kasali!)

Venue:
Villa Madonna -> Puerto Galera -> Pampanga -> Laguna -> Bulacan -> Cavite -> Puerto Galera -> Laguna...Villa Normita...FINAL ANSWER!!!
(parang tour of Luzon yun ah! napagod ako sa biyahe, in fainess!!!)


Departure Time from Manila:
7:30 (pero, 8pm talaga sya!)...naging 8:30 (pero 8pm talaga dapat sya!)...na naging 9:05 (hay salamat, nakaalis din...pero 8pm dapat talaga sya!!!)


Sidelights:
- naranasan mo na bang mag-hiking na nakasakay ka sa jeep?
- mataas ang lugar, promise...muntik na naming maabot ang mga bituin sa langit
- maganda ang lugar, pati ang mga quarters
- may slide!!!
- maligamgam ang tubig
- may kiddie pool na pwedeng paglagaan ng egg
- si mike ang pumalit sa trono ni jingjing sa pagiging videoke master (adik!)
- may presscon sa poolside ang Darling of the Press
- naging "falling star" si Marvin...not just once but twice!
- nalasing si mike at muntik nang...("teka, i don't owe any explanation to anybody!")
- nagluto si mike ng napakasarap na sinigang ("a way to a man's heart is through his stomach")
- nakapag-hire kami ng driver at all-around helper all rolled into one...partida na yun kasi kasama sa bayad yung upa sa jeep!
- na bad-trip si ate minda (eh sabi kasing ibigay mo yung songbook eh...damot!)
- ang sumabog na gulong sa South Super Highway
- ang kodakan sa South Super Highway (care namin sa gulong, no?!)
- ang charades sa jeep (Ninja Turles!...Ahmmm.... Ninja?...Turles?)

Kodak Moments:

The Science Project

PROBLEM:
Is Specimen A in love with Specimen B?

HYPOTHESIS:
Specimen A is in love with Specimen B. This hypothesis is based on the informal, exploratory observation on Specimen A's behavior during the past weeks. It appears that signs of being in love are evident and profound.

PREDICTION:
A certain situation or "stimulus" will definitely cause a sudden change in Specimen A's behavior.

EXPERIMENTATION:
Creating a scenario that will validate the assumption.

Step 1: Gather all requirements and tools needed
Step 2: Strategically plan the "scenario", taking into consideration all possible loopholes and unforeseen circumstances
Step 3: Execute plan at the appointed time
Step 4: Analyze and record all observations

CONCLUSION:
Based on the results of the experiment, it is therefore concluded that specimen A is, without a doubt, in love with specimen B.

CASE CLOSED.

Drew

I want a laptop...

And I know I'll have it soon...

I'll be able to compose my blogs at home...

I can download all pictures directly from my Sony Ericsson...

I'll be able to freely chat with friends via Yahoo Messenger...

I'll burn CDs and DVDs...

I'll be forever connected to the web...

I'll try the Wi-Fi thingy while having coffee at Starbucks...
(it's just too bad that my favorite Rhumba won't be there anymore...sigh!)

Soon.

Great!




Ei, Drew, what's up?

it all depends on God's will

"Dear God...let me then be your instrument."

Amen.

it's not funny

I received a text message forwarded to me by a good friend. In it were reactions of a certain individual who seems to be full of angst and bitterness.

"...Hindi na ito nakakatuwa."

Those were the exact words.

Ako din, hindi ako natuwa. In fact, I was pissed off! How dare you bluntly express your feelings well, in fact, you don't even know the reason behind such decision. Do think I planned everything just to ruin our plans? And do you know what it would cost me should I adhere to pursue with what you think is the "proper" way to do? MY JOB!!!

That remark of yours was totally uncalled for. It was foul.

"Hindi ka nakakatuwa."

If you are bitter or you want to prove something, don't do it at the expense of others.

It's pathetic.

the neophyte cook

We have lots of recipes and cookbooks at home but i never tried using them...ewan ko ba, parang ayaw kasi sa akin ng pagluluto...simpleng frying nga lang, naku po, para akong nakikipaglaban dahil bukod sa may hawak akong sheild (yung takip ng kaldero) at espada (siyanse), tumatalon-talon pa ako with matching cover-cover pa sa "sheild" kuno...hay!

Last night, habang nag-aayos ng mga kalat ko, i browsed through one of our cookbooks...stir-fried dishes...ah! madali lang 'to! At since mahilig ako sa sweet & sour, yung Stir-Fried Chicken Sweet & Sour with Pineapple ang pinili kong lutuin...15 minutes preparation, madaling mahanap ang ingredients, at higit sa lahat, madaling sundan ang instructions...

Matapos ang 15 minutes, eto ang kinalabasan:




Pinagsaluhan naming mag-anak ang aking unang dish...pwede na daw akong magluto sabi ng tatay ko...naks!

O ayan, pwede ko nang ma-apply yung saying na:
"A way to a man's heart is through his stomach."

Hehehe...

masaya ako...malungkot ako...

Masaya ako dahil maganda ang kanta namin last easter vigil...all our efforts have paid off...at least for some...(do i hear somebody saying "ouch"?)

Malungkot ako dahil sa ilang mga bagay-bagay na nakaka-disappoint...

...ayan naiiyak na naman ako!


Masaya ako dahil maganda ang kuha ko sa group picture na ito...



Malungkot ako dahil...hindi ako kasama sa picture.

...waaah!


Masaya ako dahil nag-fellowship kami ni Kuya Nog at ni Derps sa Mandarin Hotel...at kumain ako ng fondue...tapos may malaking chocolate fountain! sarap!



Cge na nga, masaya na ako!

Happy Easter, everyone!

i'm only human

So who says tough girls don't cry?

Mabuti na lang may halu-halo at may isang mabuting kaibigan na handang dumamay at maki-iyak (?)...



Thanks for listening, Danna.

7 days and 7 nights

I turned 30 years old last April 2. But it took about a week before the birthday phenomena was over:


April 1.
I had dinner with my closest friends at the Seaside and Cowboy Grill. However, my dearest friend, John, wasn't able to make it due to some urgent matters. It's alright, John. You owe me one. In general, it was a refreshing celebration. Very intimate...just the way I wanted it to be. Thanks for making it come true, Schatzi. I love you.




April 2.
Had lunch at Hap Chan at Market! Market! with my parents and my aunt. This is my first birthday that I celebrated it with my aunt...I think this could pass as an entry to the Guinness Book.

Later on that night, I had my second birthday celebration – this time, with the SPP Youth Choir. It was fun. A total contrast to the celebration I had the previous night. Lots of laughter, silly jokes, and revelations during the most-awaited pik-pak-boom game. Too bad, I wasn't able to join them during the game. Been very busy answering birthday greetings sent via SMS. Thanks for the cake, guys.




April 3.
An ordinary day at the office. I received a card and wind chime from Gima, and a purple drawstring pants from Alaine that she personally bought from Puerto Galera. My boss didn’t greet me. No big deal.


April 4.
I received a bouquet of one dozen yellow roses all the way from London. Thanks for the wonderful surprise. Promise, I'll always take care. Miss you.




April 5.
I received a text message coming from a dear friend. Though the greeting was three days late, I really appreciate it. Thanks for the annual birthday greetings and for keeping in touch. I'm so honored by the fact that you still have my mobile number after all these years. Hope we can get together soon.


April 6.
I received another surprise gift from a family friend. It's a book on how to simplify life. Thanks for the book. I must admit, my life is full of clutter. I know this book will help me clean my life's mess brought about by unfortunate events and throw away all the unnecessary burden that I've been carrying all these years.


April 7.
Had the final birthday celebration with a good friend at MyLK in Greenbelt 3. Save the best for last. :)



Lord, I thank you for the past 29 years of my life. Thank you for being with me all these years and for sending me the wonderful people who have given me their unconditional love and untiring support. Now as I look forward to another year, I ask for your blessing. Give me the grace to overcome the little problems that will come my way and embrace every little blessing that you will bestow upon me. Help me to live according to your will. I love you, Lord. Amen.

Yin-Yang

Sadyang kay bilis ng panahon. Di na natin namalayan na labinlimang taon na pala tayong magkaibigan.

Naalala mo pa ba nung una tayong nagkakilala? Ako, tandang-tanda ko pa lahat – ang petsa, lugar, okasyon, pati oras...o, san ka pa?!

Sa loob ng 15 taon, marami nang nabago...sa iyo...sa akin...sa ating mga pag-uugali at pananaw sa buhay...

Marami na ring mga bagay at tao na dumaan sa buhay natin na naka-apekto sa kung ano at kung sino tayo ngayon...

Sa pagkakataong ito, gusto kong malaman mo na natutuwa ako at naging bahagi ka ng pagkatao ko na di maaaring maglaho kailanman...

Salamat sa mga pag-aalala, pagmamahal, pagkakaibigan, luha, at tuwa na idinulot mo sa buhay ko...


Isang tagay naman dyan!

Lessons from a Rhumba Frap

I'm so sad...

...a lot of things are happening lately...i'm literally torn into pieces...



Sa sobrang sama ng loob ko, bumili ako ng Venti Starbuck's Rhumba Frap...natuwa ako kasi sa ibang branch ng Starbucks, wala ng Rhumba...discontinued na raw sabi nila...mabuti na lang sa Standard Chartered branch meron pa...actually, hinihintay na lang nila maubos.

Nalungkot na naman ako...pati ba naman Rhumba Frap?

Pero sabi nila, meron daw ipapalit na bagong flavor, mas masarap kesa Rhumba...

Ah! parang yung tinext sa akin ng friend ko..."God will never leave you empty because He will replace everything you have lost. If He asks you to put something down, it's because He wants you to pick something great."

Sige, I'll look forward to that new coffee flavor...

...at dun sa "something great" na mangyayari sa buhay ko.

Hear what I'd like to say but what I can not say...

Don't be fooled by me.
Don't be fooled by the face I wear.
For I wear a mask. I wear a thousand masks-masks that I'm afraid to take off and none of them are me.
Pretending is an art that's second nature with me but don't be fooled, for God's sake, don't be fooled.
I give you the impression that I'm secure; that all is sunny and unruffled with me, within as well as without; That confidence is my name and coolness my game,
That the water's calm and I'm in command, and that I need no one.

But don't believe me. Please!

My surface may be smooth but my surface is my mask.
My ever-varying and ever-concealing mask.
Beneath lies no smugness, no complacence.
Beneath dwells the real me in confusion, in fear, in aloneness.
But I hide this.
I don't want anybody to know it.
I panic at the thought of my weaknesses and fear exposing them.
That's why I frantically create my masks to hide behind.
They're nonchalant, sophisticated facades to help me pretend.
To shield me from the glance that knows.
But such a glance is precisely my salvation, my only salvation, and I know it.

That is, if it's followed by acceptance, and if it's followed by love.
It's the only thing that can liberate me from myself from my own self-built prison walls.

I dislike hiding, honestly.
I dislike the superficial game I'm playing, the superficial phony game.
I'd really like to be genuine and me.
But I need your help, your hand to hold.
Even though my masks would tell you otherwise.
That glance from you is the only thing that assures me of what I can't assure myself,
That I'm really worth something.

But I don't tell you this.
I don't dare.
I'm afraid to.
I'm afraid you'll think less of me, that you'll laugh and your laugh would kill me.
I'm afraid that deep-down I'm nothing, that I'm just no good and you will see this and reject me.

So I play my game, my desperate, pretending game.
With a facade of assurance without, and a trembling child within.

So begins the parade of masks.
The glittering but empty parade of masks, and my life becomes a front.
I idly chatter to you in suave tones of surface talk.
I tell you everything that's nothing and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me.
So when I'm going through my routine do not be fooled by what I'm saying.

Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying.
Hear what I'd like to say but what I can not say.

It will not be easy for you, long felt inadequacies make my defenses strong.
The nearer you approach me the blinder I may strike back.
Despite what books say of men, I am irrational;
I fight against the very thing that I cry out for.
Don't be fooled by me.
At least not by the face I wear.